Rochester, Yay!

Strangers steps into the car, and within minutes we’re talking about the stuff people usually save for close friends: family roots, identity, and how a city can shape your whole nervous system. Riding through Washington, D.C., we keep it anonymous and unfiltered, because that’s where the best stories live and where real listening has room to happen.

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Transcript

Welcome And The Anonymous Ride

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Welcome to another episode of Rideshare Road Talk, Conversations in Motion. A podcast where we create unfiltered talk space that examines the meaningful lives of my passengers while engaging in personal and topical discussions. I'm your host and driver, John Foggett. And we're cruising the streets of Washington, D.C. Buckle up. Let's drive. There's no names, it's all anonymous, which is kind of the magic of.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Do you lead the questions or do we lead the questions?

SPEAKER_00 0:40

I don't know. You're a therapist. Crack me open. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

All right. All right. Well, I'd like to know more about your family. I mean, I'm curious.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Uh DC lineage. My dad uh immigrated from Greece. Okay. Uh as a boy, wound up here in DC on 16th Street. And why?

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Because little things. At the time. Little things. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

And my mother's family was from uh part of uh Ukraine and also from Naples, Italy. And so every the confluence was here in Brooklyn, and then here I am. Okay. Here we are.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

And you've stayed here ever since.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Yeah, I went to school in Florida for a hot minute, and other than that, I've been here.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

The Florida Gators.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Uh I'm embarrassed to tell you. College of Boca Raton.

Podcasting And The Art Of Listening

SPEAKER_02 1:30

But why would you be embarrassed? That is. Because it was a joke. Oh my god. All right. Well, you learned that. You went there, you learned it, and you left. Fair. Fair.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Florida in the late 80s in Boca. What could go wrong?

SPEAKER_02 1:43

So I also have a podcast, just so you know. Do you really? Yes. It's called the Big Joe Podcast. Okay. And I'm going to tell you what's happened is I am a school counselor in Seattle, Washington. And then I also have my own private practice. And we, my colleague and I interview other people in the community just so that we can like, you know, build rapport and also just like learn more about each other and the people that you, you know, go to work with every single day. And it's and it's ridiculous. I like it. I have no idea what I'm doing, but people tune in. So it's fun. It's really fun.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

My greatest gift is being a good listener, and that's usually it's about it.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

It is honestly a skill you have to hone because listening is the hardest thing in the world to do.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

It can be.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

People don't know how to do it well. It's true.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

I have an issue with um, I call it containment. Like I I thrive on timing. And I, you know, if you're having a good banter and rapport with someone, that that connection and timing makes it seem like there's something there. But if the timing is off, you can almost come across like a verbal bully. Like you're not letting me speak. But maybe my timing's just off. Oh. And so, but I have a problem just pumping the brakes, so to speak.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

That's so interesting. Because you get excited?

Why Scripted Interviews Fail People

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Um, I just have lots to say. And I know I don't know. I don't know. No, I mean, literally by default, I have to be a good listener with my work. Um and this actually lets me hone my chops in a way. If I do a sit-down interview with a corporate executive, um, it really is about having an organic conversation. I don't want anyone scripted sitting down in front of my cameras. Yeah. It's transparent and it's the illusions killed before it starts.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

Okay, so this is very interesting to me because I just had a colleague who interviewed for a director position at school, and she had to answer all of these very like like these questions that just felt inauthentic and people are looking for the right answer, quote unquote. And it wasn't a conversation about what she could actually bring to the school. It just felt it felt um, I don't know, like what you just said, scripted, right? It felt like forced. Yeah, not a very in-authors. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Well, the worst thing you can do is give someone the questions in advance.

DC Life And Upstate New York Debate

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Right. Yeah, right, right. And and you also already know what the questions are gonna be, let's be honest. When did you have a conflict with somebody and how did you resolve it perfectly so that you never have conflict again with anyone? Like, how are you going to be like supportive of all learners and like all cultures and all communities, and how are you gonna get it right a hundred percent of the time? I don't know that they're saying that actually in Seattle. I'm not sure they're saying that everywhere. Oh, well, maybe that's true. But it definitely felt to me like I was like, when you actually have a real conversation with someone, it it just is such a better indic indication of who that person is, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:41

And what they their strengths and hold on to these scary smoke machines.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Oh, that's exciting.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

So what do you like about living in DC and what do you not like? Um and do you live in DC, DC, or are you? No, no, no. I'm out in the I'm out in the rooms a bit.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Um you know, I like that it's the center of the universe for a lot of things, but it's so small and it's very manageable. It's true. It's not omnipresent like New York.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Um, like New York, I'm good for about two or three days. Lower east, west, midtown, absolutely not. I can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Yeah, because you just feel too dirty.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

It's just claustrophobic. No, it's true. And then the dirt comes from that, sure.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Um, I like the transient nature of it. Um, this too shall pass, kind of a thing. And it will. I think we all know what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Oh, we're definitely and we are on board. We are on board. Hopefully sooner rather than later. But yeah, yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Um that that kind of covers it for me.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

That's cool.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

I mean, just saying the change of seasons is kind of stock bullshit. Like, okay, fine, great.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Um, how like are you in Maryland? Maryland, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Yeah, I can't deal with Virginia. I just can't.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

That's where she lives. Yeah, I'm from the city. I'm sorry, but she's not from there. I'm from upstate. Wait, wait, let's just see if you can figure this out. Home of Kodak. Uh Red Wings Garbage Plate. What? Yep, those are three quick very important clues I just gave you.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

To upstate.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Well, it's really western. Really western. Really western.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

I'm just gonna guess Albany.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Oh, that's depressing.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Well, it is, for real.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

How about Wegmans? How about it?

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Oh, yeah, okay. Rochester. Yeah! Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

That's right. That's exactly right. And only took four things. No, I just Wegmans. It's a great city. We live. I mean Rochester. Well, I mean because it's here now.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

I used to be a Wegman's disciple.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Yes. What happened? What changed?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Well, they just got watered down and expanded and they lost their magic a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

I think they did a little bit, maybe. Really? I don't know. It's still the greatest thing that's ever happened.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

I mean, I'm I mean, I do enjoy it for sure. Yeah, it's a cool thing. But like when it first started expanding, um, it was high quality, high volume. That was their margin. And now it's like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

I get it. I only go to the Wegmans in Rochester, so I can't. Because we don't have it in Seattle.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

So to be fair, Albany is a toilet.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

To be fair, this is the second time I've talked about that this week. And like seriously, is that Albany is not someplace you would want to go. Sorry, Albanians.

Coping With What You Absorb

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Yeah, I mean, my my son. My son was a football kid, and uh he was being recruited a little bit to U Albany or whatever that is. And I was like, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Absolutely not. Tennessee, much better, much better, much better. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Well, what questions do you have for us?

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Um Okay, how do you how do you unpack what you absorb? Because you're no different than a first-line fire uh fireman or EMS or police officer. You see and you're exposed to so much. What do you do to offload? Do you have a therapist that you Yes, of course?

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Yeah, I do. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Um is that a professional mechanism or is that a personal choice?

SPEAKER_02 8:11

It's pretty common. It's pretty common. And it's a privilege to be able to afford it. 100%. Because you know, unfortunately, therapy is healthcare, although healthcare is out of control to us too. Yeah. Um it's not covered in a second.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Correct. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

I would say though, that like I what I think other people don't know is that sometimes you might use 15 coping skills in a day and still have to take some of it. Um, I do all kinds of things. I do exercise, I do professional processing with like colleagues who want to talk about their cases in a confidential way. I I do a process work with another group of therapists who want to actually talk about their own personal stuff together.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Fair.

Golf As Focus And Reset

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Like there's like a million, and I do my own personal therapy. Yeah. And I have Leah. Yeah. And I she and I, we do our own oh sorry, thanks. We do unofficial, you know, supervision or consultation with each other. And then I just I'll tell you what I do. I watch the real housewives of every episode because I don't have to take care of those people. I don't have to like listen to them. I can judge as much as I want to. That's your distress. And I also organize my um cat mess and be the creator. I also try to like do political action.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Yeah, put that energy in political.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

I've always used golf.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Golf! Oh my god, my brother is obsessed with golf.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

And you know why? Because it's like, first of all, you have to be so laser focused. The rest of the world just drifts away for those five hours. It's fresh air, it's movement, it's all these body mechanics and things.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

But the magic of it is perfection's unattainable. And so when you hit that one shot when all hundred things synchronize it like magic, you chase out the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

That's great. You're like, that's the feeling.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So golf has saved my life on many occasions in that.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

You know what? You should meet my brother because have you been to Bandom Dunes?

SPEAKER_00 10:32

No.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Oh, my brother has a tattoo of Bandom Dunes on Slay the tree, the ghost tree.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Oh, I'm familiar with that tree. Yeah, yeah. I had an opportunity and I didn't go, and now I just find it so ridiculously expensive that I just can't out of principle.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

I don't know. I think my brother would tell you just too many.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Yeah, I mean, I've checked a lot of bucket lists, so good.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

I mean, where's your favorite place to golf?

SPEAKER_00 10:58

There's so many. Um, been to St. Andrews twice. Okay. Very fortunate. Okay. Let me say St. Andrews twice. Old course, the whole deal. Yes. Uh Pinehurst is a very special place for me. Oh, um.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Oh, have you gone to Rochester? Yeah, have you gone to Oak Hill? Oakill has a big history.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Of course, Oakill, yeah. Yes, you have right or something. What are they going to Rochester for?

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Well, obviously for the Nick Tahoe's garbage plate and the league. Oh, they're uh we could and the Red Wings baseball thing. Yeah, and honestly, the Erie Canal. Yes, yes, for sure. Yes. Well, that's that's that's still a thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

All right, okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

No, but they get they get great music there. They have a jazz festival in the summertime. Yeah, like huge, but they have summer festivals all like kind of through from spring, like your line lush festival all the way to go to the finger lakes and go to the lake and get a I went through Lake George once. That's right. That's upstreet.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

That's very pretty. That's it. You know, there is this weird enclave of like Orthodox Jewish day camps and summer camps. It was so creepy because we drove through in the wintertime. And I'm like, I mean, I'm part Jewish, so I don't care saying this. It looked like a concentration camp.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Oh dear. Well, that is not a summer camp.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Because it was bleak, it was closed, and it's winter is upstate. I'm like, oh my god, what are we driving through?

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Oh, that's terrible. Oh, in the summer it's a magical place. Okay. Magical, beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Lake George, I'll give you Rochester. Oh, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

Well, I guess we didn't do our job because we said we needed to see this other beautiful city, but just don't go to Buffalo. Rochester's better than Buffalo. I've been to Buffalo, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

I've been there, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

So what's your production company?

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Um, like the name? Yeah. It's called Foundation Digital Media. Okay. Which is the playoff of my last name, which is Fondus. Foundus, Fondus. Um I've had it for about 15 years.

unknown 13:00

Oh cool.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Work at the White House, the whole thing. Um what a cute dog.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Um you've done journalism. You've done wait, so you said a film production company.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah, like corporate video. Like marketing, advertising, some documentaries. Yes. Um but you're doing a podcast. Well, I d I do my regular job. This is a byproduct of that. Yeah, it's just I I don't know how to explain it.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

Do you need any staff? Do you have any openings?

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Alright, our friend looks confused.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Thank you so much. I know. Ladies, it's really nice chatting with you. It's really nice chatting with you. Absolutely. I probably should. Yeah, you should. Thank you so much. Good luck. Thank you. Good luck out, though. I'm gonna climb the ladder together.

unknown 13:58

Woo!

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Thank you for listening to this episode of Roger Road Talk. If you've enjoyed what you've heard, we'd love for you to review the podcast on your favorite listening platform like Apple or Spotify. Your support helps us so much, and don't forget to reach out on Instagram with your feedback or topic suggestions. Until next time, let's drive.